又中又英 - Flat champagne | 褚簡寧

　　Opening a bottle of champagne is simple but requires skill to do it correctly. Some people prefer the champagne cork to make a pop sound when it comes out. Others prefer a quiet sound. Racing car drivers who win prefer the champagne to gush out when they celebrate. Whichever way you prefer, the champagne must be cold before opening.

　　I have opened champagne bottles many times to make it pop by first removing the cork foil and metal wire cage. I then hold it at a 45-degree angle, pointing it away from people. I hold the cork down with my thumb and slowly twist the bottle with my other hand until the gas pushes the cork out with a pop. But there was one time when the cork didn't pop. Surprised, I wondered what had happened to my expensive champers. The slang word "champers" means champagne. I removed the cork and tasted the champers. It was flat champagne. The expression "flat champagne" means the champagne had lost its gas bubbles and proper taste due to improper storage or defective cork. Flat champagne is sometimes safe to drink but not if it tastes like vinegar.

　　The expression "flat champagne" has another meaning which a movie critic used to describe the movie The Devil Wears Prada 2. I watched the movie, which was halfway enjoyable but not a movie I would give high marks to. Many movie critics gave it good marks, but one critic said it was like flat champagne. The expression "flat champagne" used this way means a movie that looks visually appealing like the bubbles in champagne but is in fact boring, making viewers feel disappointed and unsatisfied.

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　　開一瓶香檳很簡單，但要正確開瓶還是需要些技巧。有些人喜歡香檳酒塞弄出來時有「噗」的一聲，另一些人則喜歡很靜的輕輕一聲。贏得比賽的賽車手慶祝的時候，喜歡香檳噴湧而出。無論你喜歡何種方式，香檳開瓶前一定要足夠冰凍。

　　我開過許多次會發出「噗」一聲的香檳。我會先撕開扣着瓶塞的錫紙和金屬扣，然後以45度角握着酒瓶，避開指向任何人。一隻手的拇指按着酒塞，另一隻手慢慢轉動酒瓶，直至氣體噗一聲推開酒塞。不過有一次，酒塞並沒有「噗」一聲打開，我感到意外，思忖我那名貴的champers發生了甚麼事。俚語champers就是指香檳酒。我拿開酒塞，試試那瓶香檳酒（champers），那是flat champagne。習語flat champagne是指因為存放不佳或有缺損的酒塞，香檳走了氣和應有的味道。沒氣泡或走味的香檳（flat champagne）有時還是可以安心飲用的，但若變成像醋一樣的味道就不能喝了。

　　習語flat champagne也有其他意思，一個電影評論人就用它來形容電影《穿Prada的惡魔2》。我也看了電影，勉強還算享受吧，但也不是我會打高分的電影。許多電影評論人給了它高分，但一位評論人說它像flat champagne。習語flat champagne在這裏是指一套電影在視覺上似乎頗吸引，像香檳中的泡泡，實則沉悶沒趣，令觀眾感到失望又不滿足。

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Michael Chugani褚簡寧
中譯：七刻

又中又英