又中又英 - Flat champagne | 褚简宁

　　Opening a bottle of champagne is simple but requires skill to do it correctly. Some people prefer the champagne cork to make a pop sound when it comes out. Others prefer a quiet sound. Racing car drivers who win prefer the champagne to gush out when they celebrate. Whichever way you prefer, the champagne must be cold before opening.

　　I have opened champagne bottles many times to make it pop by first removing the cork foil and metal wire cage. I then hold it at a 45-degree angle, pointing it away from people. I hold the cork down with my thumb and slowly twist the bottle with my other hand until the gas pushes the cork out with a pop. But there was one time when the cork didn't pop. Surprised, I wondered what had happened to my expensive champers. The slang word "champers" means champagne. I removed the cork and tasted the champers. It was flat champagne. The expression "flat champagne" means the champagne had lost its gas bubbles and proper taste due to improper storage or defective cork. Flat champagne is sometimes safe to drink but not if it tastes like vinegar.

　　The expression "flat champagne" has another meaning which a movie critic used to describe the movie The Devil Wears Prada 2. I watched the movie, which was halfway enjoyable but not a movie I would give high marks to. Many movie critics gave it good marks, but one critic said it was like flat champagne. The expression "flat champagne" used this way means a movie that looks visually appealing like the bubbles in champagne but is in fact boring, making viewers feel disappointed and unsatisfied.

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　　开一瓶香槟很简单，但要正确开瓶还是需要些技巧。有些人喜欢香槟酒塞弄出来时有「噗」的一声，另一些人则喜欢很静的轻轻一声。赢得比赛的赛车手庆祝的时候，喜欢香槟喷涌而出。无论你喜欢何种方式，香槟开瓶前一定要足够冰冻。

　　我开过许多次会发出「噗」一声的香槟。我会先撕开扣着瓶塞的锡纸和金属扣，然后以45度角握着酒瓶，避开指向任何人。一只手的拇指按着酒塞，另一只手慢慢转动酒瓶，直至气体噗一声推开酒塞。不过有一次，酒塞并没有「噗」一声打开，我感到意外，思忖我那名贵的champers发生了甚么事。俚语champers就是指香槟酒。我拿开酒塞，试试那瓶香槟酒（champers），那是flat champagne。习语flat champagne是指因为存放不佳或有缺损的酒塞，香槟走了气和应有的味道。没气泡或走味的香槟（flat champagne）有时还是可以安心饮用的，但若变成像醋一样的味道就不能喝了。

　　习语flat champagne也有其他意思，一个电影评论人就用它来形容电影《穿Prada的恶魔2》。我也看了电影，勉强还算享受吧，但也不是我会打高分的电影。许多电影评论人给了它高分，但一位评论人说它像flat champagne。习语flat champagne在这里是指一套电影在视觉上似乎颇吸引，像香槟中的泡泡，实则沉闷没趣，令观众感到失望又不满足。

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Michael Chugani褚简宁
中译：七刻

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